After one year, he followed her again on Instagram, and she didn't expect to see this:

Source

Hey, I am finally posting my first post ever. When I wrote this, I shared it with a couple of friends who asked me to submit this to Thoughtcatlog.com. I did submit the story but couldn't get it published. After which I started my own blog WorldofAlie.  This is my first article. I hope you enjoy reading this


It’s been a year since we unfollowed each other on Instagram. Now my heart beat rises as I see your follow-request on my(private) account. Ignoring my minds’ protests to delete your request, I accept.

And so begins the new chapter of our story. You are now grown up, look fit. I see, you are not social-media-shy anymore. You have traveled a lot, I know you followed me again only to share your travel experiences with me.

And me, I have made new friends. I have traveled a bit. I post pictures of how fabulous my life is. My Instagram pictures are not for you to see. I have clearly moved on. (Actually they still are for you to see, I have always hoped you will come back to my life someday and go through my pictures, which will testify about the time I spent without you. But that’s not something I will ever admit.


 source

Anyway now I follow you back. I click on the first picture and I feel the pang in my heart. In my head I imagine my subconscious as a facepalm emoji.  It’s not your picture but the comments. You are promising someone to take her to those beautiful places..

Oh God. I always knew you had moved on. I didn’t want to know with whom, when and where. (who ever said ignorance is bliss deserves a Nobel Prize) But now like a mad women I go through your pictures. Trying to figure out since when are you together. My subconscious protests. I ignore. again.  It seems like not long ago. ‘Hmm she has liked and commented on only four of your recent pictures.
 (“Ok Lady stop now, unfollow and go on with your life” my subconscious, says firmly this time) finally I listen and log-out.

I sit back on my couch for good 5 minutes, finally accepting that there will be no miracle. You are gone. You belongs to someone else.




5 minutes later. I open Twitter and type her name. Her account appears. What we follow each other?  I scroll down and read.  Like me, she tweets her thoughts. In a few minutes I knew her in-and-out. She loves to read.  She is grateful to life that it gave her the most beautiful gift- You. She is so talented, yet so humble. She seems sweet, kind and caring. The more I read her tweets the more I like her. I realized you met her less than 2 months ago, and last 2 months have been her happiest. . I feel a pang of jealously. I am ridiculously surprised at my own behavior. This is voyeurism.  What am I doing? I am being voyeuristic now.  Stop! I tell myself. Put my phone away.

I go back to my phone one last time. She is pretty. More than that I think she is a beautiful human being, she is so nice I want to meet her. She has everything that I once thought was mine. But I am happy for her. Like really, may be 7 percent jealous but 93 percent happy. I am not convincing myself. I am genuinely happy. I think she is me and more. We are alike in a way. But she is also what I could not be. I am happy for you because I think she is perfect for you.

Tear drops roll down from my cheeks. I think of those times when I missed you but I sincerely prayed that you find someone who loves you more than I do. If l had to pick someone for you, I think it would be her. Oh God, I must be crazy right? I am making these assumptions in my head just by snooping into someone’s Twitter account. I am even crazier because I, actually, like this girl who has everything that I once thought was mine. I couldn’t stop thinking of her all night. Her pretty smile kept appearing before my eyes. She seems so happy - as happy as I used to be. I kept telling myself I should hate you. But never could. Even watching you make someone else feel so happy makes me so glad that I once fell in love with you.

I want to dial your number and tell you how happy I am for you. But what will I tell you? “ I have been stalking your new girlfriend?” I simply delete Instagram and Twitter apps from my phone.  I need to stay away from stalking you and her, until I really stop thinking of you and how happy you make her feel.
I can’t talk to my friends, may be they will understand the 7 percent jealousy but not the 93 percent. They will accuse me of ‘not moving on’ and ‘or being stuck’. They won’t believe me when I tell them I have moved on, but I am still in love. And I don’t apologies for that. May be I sound silly, I grew up reading to a lot of stupid Nicholas Spark stories that made believe in Love is eternal kinda crap. But that’s true with me, I could never stop loving you.  My friends will never understand if I tell them: if it were you looking into my Instagram account, you would also be happy for me if you discovered I have found someone better. (Subconscious: “Imagining again?”) No.
May be yes.

I remove the Instagram app from my phone and wait with my fingers crossed until my heart is 0 percent jealous and 100 percent happy to see you happy(with someone else).


…………………………………………………………………………………………………………




Comments

Popular Posts